Super nonsense right.. last time i was wondering.. now still wondering.. okay its a tad less.. but still? when will it be enough? we say we will all move on.. do we really? or do we just move on when someone else comes along?

okay thoughts out of my head. what i really wanna talk about is, since being recently jaded again with everything.. i am happy to report.. i told my mum already:) at last... i found the courage and she didn't say much.. and neither did i.. but i guess everyone was right.. needless to say, i should have listened.

after everything, i don't think i am pro commitment anymore... the whole boyfriend girlfriend thing or whatever you wanna call it/disguise it/deny it is sooo stupid at our age or for people younger.. i'm soo glad to know soo many teens who aren't all set to jump the gun.. :) i really respect them.. i traded my prime years for silly fellas.. what for? a bunch of lessons learnt the hard way? i know i am of age to start looking for that one fella.. but seriously.. i ain't gonna settle for anyone anymore la.. its just i don't know.. *being cautious with my words* looking at her glee over a new guy, at her age, nahh it ain't gonna work out. He is still young, stupid and immature. He is not ready for the ride.. but both of ya are boarding the roller coaster.. and it would be sad if one of you gets injured or falls off and die. He is smart, athletic, cute, tall and rich.. SO? I think, the number one thing to look out in a guy is "will he hurt me?" don't be smart and literally ask the guy cause he will reply "i would never intentionally hurt you." but your personalities will clash and you will be hurting all the time. So how? Answer: Observe him, let him prove to make you happy over a LONG period of time.. 6-8 months.. if he can't.. i guess he ain't worth the trouble.. and it will save you the hurt which will last longer than the fleeting moments of happiness you shared.

main point: unless he has a ring stash in your pocket/drawer/ anything don't bother getting on the ride with him can? when you are ready for the ride, then by all means.

~i was ready to work things out~ I don't want to play the broken hearted girl anymore~

recently i watch julie and julia.. whaaa i feel like doing a cooking thing too... but honestly i am not much of a dedicated person.. i have noooo hobby.. but i guess i do have an interest... i really find love soo amazing.. and as perhaps most of ya'll know i love the ones that involves boys especially:) HAHA.. i dunno i just find it soo interesting.. hearing a friend recount fond memories.. makes me smile:) when i hear the sadness, i feel the pain and the hurt.. and the love of a friend steps in.. soo love is pretty amazing to me.. i wonder what could i do with such an interest?

sooo will you let me gooo crazy over love? :D everything and anything about love? :) i was once told it was my obsession that keeps me in my fantasy and far from reality... So? i currently am single and available.. i'm not pressuring anyone to conform to my reality.. sooo for just a few moments a day let me just ponder GUILT free about it okay? :)

my thought for the day, "love ain't a maybe thing, you know it when it comes."

its been funky.. life..

I WANT TO BE EMO OKAY?

actually no.. but i think i might be soon.. when i realize all he ever does is USE me.. like SIAN DIAO.. everyone says you are using me.. but sian.. its my fault cause i let ya.. the thing is.. i really hope you'll change.. i know people don't change because of other people.. they change because of God.. a change that will stick for life, not a temporal moment to impress.. sighh..

if i had magic i would totally cut short your transformation process and zap you into perfection.. i know its a struggle.. but i hope its a struggle you will see worth while.. pathetic i know.. but i will still be here.. till the day you change.. soo fine use me.. maybe you'll pass the deed on one day..

~i helped one soul~