Sunday, July 25, 2010

hello people,

:D my life is one unbelievable roller coaster ride.
but when i sit down and read about the lives of others.. i somehow find everything shallow.. and feeling like my life counts for nothing.
there must be more to life than this: work, school, play.
i used to feel like i had the answer, the security and assurance..
but right now, this very second, i think i don't..
i am beginning to feel the walls i put up to hide behind..
you can't come in, and i can't get out.
why am i imprisoning myself?

once again the entry is about me. when is it gonna be about everything else but me?
selfish, self-centered, self seeking me.

i want more meaning, purpose and direction but why do i not seek and find the answers?
what is wrong with me? why do i look sooo normal on the outside? but feel soo abnormal? i wanna go back to my fairytales and happily ever afters but reality has struck.


*retreats*

~random ramblings, pardon me.~

Saturday, July 17, 2010


seriously shutting down.
Joyce came back today.
Along with her, were our parents.
And my life feels tied down once again.

Can't wait to see the presents.
But things have changed.
Will we still like the same things?
I guess there is a bright side to things.
But i definitely hate that freedom is gone.
Frustration Frustration Why have you come back to me?
As if the workload was not enough.. now this.


Tuesday, July 13, 2010


I haven't seen you
Feels like a long time
Sometimes it still hurts
But I always get by

I still got a piece of you under my skin
It's always there no matter where I've been

So if I ever see you on the street
I'll pretend that I didn't see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways

Because if I look into your eyes
Then I'll have to say goodbye
And thatll break my heart
So I wont even start
I wont even start

I wish you luck
And I wish it true
That's the best
I can do for you

Cuz you'll probably find love
In someone new
I have to let go
Yeah it's hard to do

So if I run into you with your arm by his side
Just know it'll cut me like a knife

So I won't even start. I'll be okay.
Do you understand now?

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Gotta get my act together. And draw the line between fun and work.. Sigh I really gotta focus on the important things.. *think of me fondly* i really just want to balance everything and make a difference in their lives.. It's tough doing the right thing.. Exhausting.. Maybe I'm not cut out for it.. But I feel like it's getting some where I hope?? Wishful thinking? Hmmm.. Gonna work harder.. I can do it right??


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