Saturday, May 31, 2008
Joanne: Turns on the radio
Dad: ehhh so noisy
Radio DJ: Power 98 weekly top 40 with Ryan Seacrest...
Dad: ehh isn't that the american idol host??? watercress...
Joanne: -_-" hahaha...
Just when i was about to give up.... this song came along...
I can read your mind and I know your story
I see what you're going through
It's an uphill climb, and I'm feeling sorry
But I know it will come to you
Don't surrender 'cause you can win
In this thing called love
When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is
When you question me for a simple answer
I don't know what to say, no
But it's plain to see, if you stick together
You're gonna find a way, yeah
So don't surrender 'cause you can win
In this thing called love
When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is
When life is empty with no tomorrow
And loneliness starts to call
Baby, don't worry, forget your sorrow'
Cause love's gonna conquer it all, all
When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
I pray you'll be our eyes, and watch us where we go.And help us to be wise in times when we dont knowLet this be our prayer, when we lose our wayLead us to the place, guide us with your graceTo a place where well be safe When shadows fill our dayHow much faith theresLet this be our prayerIn my prayerWhen shadows fill our day lead us to a place, guide us with your graceGive us faith so well be safeWe hope each soul will findAnother soul to loveThe force his gives usWe ask that life be kindIs wish thatAnd watch us from aboveEveryone finds loveWe hope each soul will findAround and insideAnother soul to love let this be our prayerLet this be our prayer, just like every child need to find a place, guide us with your graceGive us faith so well be safeNeed to find a place, guide us with your graceGive us faith so well be safe Its the faithYou light in usI feel it will save usWaiting to close a chapter in my life and start a new one. but i have no faith in myself hahaha.. well shall sing this song to sleep hahaha nighty..
In times of crsis 1. Never take your eyes of Jesus2. Heal (do not sin in your anger, healing is a process)3. Let it go (Surrender it to Jesus once you are ready to never look back[resolve all issues])4. Make peace (within yourself and with other person aka closure)5. Move on (Don't know what to do? Ask God.. I bet he has loads of things he wants you to do or maybe he just wants ya to be still which by the way is terribly difficult for city people what more city teenagers like me hahaha..)6. Stable your life (Now that you no longer have crsis you gotta replace the time and energy you spent letting go on something else if not you'll never be able to fully let go if you keep pondering)7. Hope for better ("For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11 [so do not despair he has even greater plans for you])hahaha... guess what?? i dun even know whether this 7 steps will work. but i am gonna try it out(: i must have been inspired for a reason((: okay maybe because super duper low point in my life again.. yet again la.. wha lao.. how many low points must i have??? hahaha.. i brought this upon myself duhhh.. so of course like that la.. hahaha.. this is what you get for not following God's design for you... lesson learnt: must follow God's will, but way before that must be in tune with God which is God in my life which equals to God being glorified in all that i do thus of couse He is the reason for my everything.. Amen.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
3 things you are do when you face a crisis1. run away2. go and die3. face itguess only option 3 is possible.. so you either1. face it the christian way with LOVE2. face it the emotional way with revengeSolution: Fight against the sinful human nature.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Where did i go wrong???hmmmm... i really dunno dunno... anger+hurt= ME...Wisdom comes from many many places... what do you do with the wise words???OBEY God's commands even if its a struggle.. somedays don't you wish you listened to your mama??? all the times she told ya "you aren't ready"... yet you went ahead and did it... hid it from your mama and broke your heart... left to pick up the pieces... thank God for wise friends...
HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMEN'S SCORN.
Don't tell me you're sorry cuz you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtains finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow
Hoping... No more...
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Still on BGR commitment..."Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he to claim her exclusive attention? Unless she has been asked to marry him, why would a sensible woman promise any man her exclusive attention?"how contradictory to everything i used to believe.. wha.. hmmm... but some attention is good right??? maybe not exclusive... what is defined as exclusive??? uh oh... now confused... so how much attention is too much attention??? i think 24-7 is definately exclusive... even married couples don't spend so much time together... but i mean friends do spend time together??? therefore friends give friends their attention? well i think the best gauge would be.. anything more than the time you spend with your friends would be exclusive... smart answer? well it works both ways.. so people who actually want to be exclusive gotta spend more time with their other half and less time with their friends (i DID NOT say DO NOT SPEND TIME) in comparison to thier other half... i am proud to say definately at present moment i am not having exclusive time with anyone hahaha... its been months... and for once i don't feel bad about it? hahaha.. the first thing that is right in my life since the start of the book... according to the book i've made many boo boos... a bit of me wants exclusive time ?blessing in disguise? i didn't get any... its a 2 way thing i guess it was one way.. so yeah.. hmmmm??? so no one wants to marry me!!! hahaha.. okay that's a good thing hahaha i think.... ah ya... lost already... think too much...
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
what is commitment? over this period i think i will be wondering alot about commitment in different aspects... everyday my views will change because everyday is a new experience..okay so what i think of commitment BGR sense... (my fav topic)((:... i feel its so much more than just being faithful to one person... being faithful is a sub set of commitment in a relationship... to be commited to one person means to give your all to one person.. share your life with that person.. body, mind, heart and soul.. that's why ya make a public commitment(wedding)... because you can only share your first time in body aspect once... yeah... but when courting(being with the person whom you intend to marry) some couples are half hearted... in the other 3 aspects (mind, heart and soul) obviously cannot share your body before marriage la... thus relationships tend to be so.. wishy washy... what's worse than that would be telling everyone you are commited and have no intentions to marry the person..oh wells.. anyway sometimes its weird acting like everything is okay and nothing gets to you when everything does... what's worse is that the person you are putting up a front to is putting up a front as well...feel lost without you.. its been awhile since i'm back to square one..
E learning this week ((: yippee....except for a few classes... pretty free... 2 test next weekk.... FM(accounts!!!) and AST(phonics)....((:gotta focus... and study but heh heh... a little bit of fun((:waiting to hear from you...
Monday, May 19, 2008
"I can't believe the way
Your love has got a hold on me
Each morning I wake to find You near
You lift me above my fears
And set my feet on solid ground
All of my days belong to You
And I breathe in Your breath of life that fills my heart
You are my all consuming fire
I stand here before You
In wide opened wonder
Amazed at the glory of You
The power of heaven
Revealing Your purpose in me
As I'm reaching for You"
This song just reached out to me this morning.. when its time for revelation you really grasp the whole concept... then things won't be the same... how amazing and life changing... am i having a valley experience? hmmmm... i dun even know what that means... time for more revelation? in His time(: alot of weird feelings but alot of support... truly standing here amazed...
Saturday, May 17, 2008
the more i talk to daddy the more funny the conversations get la....Joanne: wha i think some children very smart ehhh can do this and thatdaddy: like what?Joanne: erm when they play with toys they fine tune their motor skills and many other skills they practise?Daddy: is it psychomotor or quazzimodo development?Joanne: -_-" no such thing as quzzimodo development.....Daddy: i know.. its from the cartoon...*Quzzimodo is from hunchback of notre dam*This one was in the car.....Daddy: lets go to mustafa on monday and buy a new tv..Joanne: my friend says never go to little india on weekends ehhh....Daddy: Why?Joanne: cause my indian friend say at little india on weekends have ALOT of those indian workers ehhh... very scaryyy....Daddy: ehh you know what your ah kong use to say?Joanne and Jonathan: WHAT?Daddy: he said little india always BLACK out...Joanne: -_-"Jonathan: orh hor... you are racist...HAHA... things are going slowly back to normal((:time heals most things...
Friday, May 16, 2008
God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble. Never forget that. Pride goes before destruction. Proverbs 16:18. Broken hearted. I hope God will give grace to us right now. I'm asking... can you hear me? I've humbled myself. I hope grace is on its way. But then again grace is always given just different measures of it in human terms..Forgiveness is a hard thing to live with especially after you've humbled yourself and approach the person who has wronged you. Most people would think "why should i? he wronged me? i can just bury the hate in me! i've got a right to till he approaches me and ask me for forgiveness!" but what did i say? pride goes before destruction.. so unless you want God to oppose you, you better humble yourself and settle before God and man your hate... i've seen enough destruction of the proud this week... now is to learn to be humbled. beginning to think i am senseless... maybe i am? den i better keep quiet if not i'll be telling people to do senseless things...thoughts of a senselss person... feeling blue...
Thursday, May 15, 2008
wha.... how long is 6 years? i feel like as i grow older my life is speeding past me... i'm already in year 2 and it feels like just yesterday i just entered poly... just made new friends and still finding my way around.. wha.. 6 years time i really wanna get married ehhh... but wha i think its impossible to find the right man... ): i think i'll be super crushed if by my 24 birthday no proposal): wha watching love dramas wha works both ways now la... no longer just happy.. ocassionally sob sob cause wha really afraid one day i wake up a spinster ehhhh.... super super scared.....anyway mugging away in the library... rewarding feeling(: hahahaha thanks dorothy for sitting me down to study((: hmmm anyway.. yeah trying week with everything that's been going on.. owe much to kaimin.. thanks for the tonne of help... ahhhh... jo i wish i could tell you.. anyway.. struggle to be a good person... thanks for being there and listening to me.. and my dumb dumbness and not judging me.. sadly sometimes it feels horrible when people judge you.. well.. because they don't know you that's why they judge you..
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
UPSET WITH EVERYTHINGHOMEFRIENDSSCHOOL WORKEVERYTHING IS GETTING TO ME ALL IN JUST 4 HOURS HOW IS IT FAIR TO ME? I HAVE NO TIME TO BE UPSET LA. WHATEVER. GOTTA GO STUDY.
Monday, May 12, 2008
To myrtle people((:i trust your enjoyed yourselves at GDOP((: none of you came online sunday night....-_-" hahahha... anyway... i hope your have been inspired to carry out the rest of the week holy... remember to do your QT and to pray for your fellow cell members durng the week okay.. not just on sunday yeah((: remember caleb who is in the jungle of brunei............ may God help him skin the rabbit and eat none poisonous fruits and vegetables...yeah??? anyway remember to think about your $1 worth of talent to revelation yeah? EVERYONE MUST GIVE AHHHHHH...... if not you will be burdening someone else to pay your $1 for you...... okie enjoy yourselves((: time for me to stress out.. Love, Joanne.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Today was... incredible.. i just got home and i really wanna blog about it before i forget... 2 things that are totally historical((:1. first mother's day without my mummy... she's in vietnam((: did a surprise for her...2. i received my first mother's day present!!!!((:NO... i am not married... NO.. i have no children.. YES i have AMAZING FRIENDS... davin and rachel((: your simple act of kindness has seriously.. impacted me.. been so so down this week.. anxiety is definately building up.. and your brought encouragement to me..((: THANK YOU... this is definately THE NICEST thing ANYONE has ever done for me.. no strings attach just a simple act of kindness.. the balloon will be my beacon of hope through the next few trying weeks.. to battle against selfish amibition and laziness... okay this is getting weird.. hahaha.. but really never been so.. touched? pleased? no word can describe how i feel.... i definately wanna be a mum hahaha... okay something funny.. so we went for aunty jenny's graduation la.. we parked our car and well walked to the auditorium... walk walk walk walk... reached there.. blah blah blah.. okay so after the thingy we went to look for our car..... guess what... we couldn't find it... we spent half an hour walking around looking for the car... hahahah.. first time we cannot find the car... anyway so we got home and while we were walking to the lift i wonder... ehhh inside the heavy red thingy at the bottom of the balloon is it a bar of chocolate??? cann open anot??
Saturday, May 10, 2008
10 things i want in my marriage- God (duhh.....)
- Love(duhhhh......x2)
- Romance
- happiness
- commitment
- something really special(e.g. my dad is a cute guy la.. he irons my mum's favourite PJs cause well he says he wants my mum to look good... their weird that's why its special((: )
- cuteness (e.g. my parents are weird that's why its cute in a way...)
- hubby and sweetie must both adore each other
- -
- -
10 things i must have in my home
- a walk in wasdrobe (why? casue i want to hang up every single piece of clothes so i need lots of hangers too... i like to see all my clothes since i can afford the space((: i'll give my hubby one side of the entire wardrobe ((: lucky guy((: but i'm sure he won't have that many clothes and he can hae folded clothes((: )
- me and my hubby must house clean together((: that way its a complusory time to spend together and it makes cleaning the house fun... (presumably i dun have kids yet.......)
- a nice nice nice big big big soft soft soft BED((((:
- I WANT NICE BEDSHEETS!!!! PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY ONES!!!!!(pretty bedsheet deprived)
- a distiller (i only drink distilled water)
- washing machine plus DRYER...(spoilt... i dunno how to hang clothes on those poles???)
- Long glass windows((: cause they are pretty....
- a pet (till i have kids((: to instill responsibility )
- a soft carpet((: i always wanted one.....
- a pretty pretty chandelier (must be breath taking((: always wanted one((: )
What does this show? i think i dream more about my home than what my marriage is gonna turn out... hahaha.. i tell ya something funny.. everytime i day dream something like this the guy in the picture is MR. X... hahaha.. dunno anything about him... means no one in mind.. hahaha.. super super funny la.. everytime i try to recall who he is... no clue.... hahaha..
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
A few changes in my life..- Status has changed so gotta get use to it. Equals awkward and reservation.
- Loads of lesson planning to do and i gotta get use to the idea that i have to actually spend money on my lesson(less poket $ but its for a good cause). Equals bye bye shopping.
- Piano lessons are back! time to get practising(which i have yet to this week) equals bye bye watching "desperate housewives"
- Work is piling really high and i actually have homework? like i have tutorial homework? which i totally didn't believe it exsisted when other people told me last year cause i didn't have any... Equals bye bye watching "gossip girls"
Well no.1 is the most drastic change this week... so yeah... piano lessons later and SPK parent's day music prac.. i dunno where my heart lies but man i really just wanna get away for a while.. maybe and hour or so.. cause those above are really major changes for me cause i usually escape to being me when i shop or when i watch chick dramas or actually spend any time with you.. erm.. actually make that almost no time with you.. but now well make it zero time with you something to get use to. okay loads of adjustments and sacrifices needed to be made. No more long socialising chats with random people except with myrtle:)
oh one more major change i have to do accounts?!! something so so foreign to me!!!! i need an accounts tutor.. okay i dun like tuition so i just need someone to explain the facts to me and help me with my homework.. please? i have one week's worth of back log and a test coming up? i dun really know anyone who can help me.. well accept johnston who confuses me.. but maybe that's just because i was making him solve my question over the phone while he was on the train.. hahahaha..
must find happy happy happy self.. i dun wanna turn in to some heartless person.. but i wanna be strong as well!! i want to be a happy strong person!!!!
Monday, May 05, 2008
super mad... MAD.. wha what the... accounts really hard la... or maybe cause my teacher just skim through the entire thing and i can only remember the stuff temporary.. so by the next lesson everything is clean forgotten.. so lesson learnt: DO your homework straight after the lesson.. don't wait till a week later.. Last night was a bad night... didn't expect things to be like that but.. whatever will be will be... work load slightly lessen((: yay.. anyway.. too many things to deal with right now.. in a frazzle of things again.. i really upset.. with loads of things especially my accounts la.. super hard.. confused.. and ahhh personal down the drain yet again.. why...new favourite sweet song..A strangled smile fell from your face It kills me that I hurt you this way The worst part is that I didn't even know Now there's a million reasons for you to go But if you can find a reason to stay I'll do whatever it takes To turn this around I know what's at stake I know that I've let you down And if you give me a chance Believe that I can change I'll keep us together whatever it takes She said "If we're gonna make this work You gotta let me inside even though it hurts Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see" She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me" I'll do whatever it takes To turn this around I know what's at stake I know that I've let you down And if you give me a chance And give me a break I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better But remember the time I told you the way that I felt That I'd be lost without you and never find myself Let's hold onto each other above everything else Start over, start over I'll do whatever it takes To turn this around I know what's at stake I know I've let you down And if you give me a chance and believe that I can change I'll keep us together whatever it takes Dreaming... if only this were true.. my life would be one step closer to perfection with you.***my colour combination really vomit blood la... dunno super pek chek..
Sunday, May 04, 2008
my goodness somethings just really get to me.. i'm alright with SILENT competition but no way can i stand such whatever competition.. if i say: YAY myrtle is gonna win we have 4 people left...you don't say: well "group" has 6 people HAHAHA...if i say: hey my ____ is nice...you don't say: wha yours is nice. my____ is nice or not, my is $___(more than mine) not so ex... worth it what so pretty.if i say: well i think for my ____ its worth it cause it cost less and its still prettyyou don't say: personal choice for me _____(that person's object) has a class of its owni would carry on typing... but.. wha it makes me more mad!!!i mean the worse i would ever say when someone tell me something of mine is pretty i would say: "i know right?" i know a bit -_-" but i have told myself countless of times to NOT say that but it still comes out the moment someone says wha your e.g. shoes are pretty... arghhh.. but i would never say any of the above if someone said their shoes were pretty i won't go ehh my shoes prettier eh! ..... well guess i am not that dumb... or maybe i'm complicating things.. i told myself not to complicate things.. i've only got 7-8 days before... sigh... things aren't looking good..
Thursday, May 01, 2008
weird weird weird conversation during dinner..
Joanne: ehhh this year i'll be 18 ehhh.. den i can drink alcohol...((:
Mum: you ahh.. no drinking outside the house..
Joanne: but im legal!!!
Dad: How old are you again?
Joanne: 18?
Dad: what!! no more medical subsidy!!!!
Joanne: -_-"
Dad: what? its gonna be expensive rasing you....
Joanne: dad... we were talking about drinking...
Jon to dad: i thought you would say something like "oh no now you can smoke and drink and do loads of other stuff" and not "no more medical subsidy"?-_-
Dad: eh how old are you?
Jon: 14?
Dad: oh no only 4 more years for you...
Joanne, Jon and Mum: -_-"
