Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Happy birthday Kaixin((:
(if i had a picture of us i would put it up.. but hahaha.. i don't...)

okay today was a chill day.. it really reminded me of good ol' times.. (: but something was raised in our conversation.. do people do certain things to create their identity? it got me thinking.. what is my motive for doing anything? the shopper image that i guess most people have of me is it me? or something i created intentionally for myself? honestly i don't think i'm a shopper.. i buy loads of stuff but nothing compared to how other people i know shop.. okay back to point.. do we intentionally create our identities? initially i thought this was a very.. hmmm.. bad statement? as in if someone were to say i intentionally created my indentity i would be offended.. thinking about it however.. i disagree.. indentity is more like "i'm a teacher" i guess image would be a better word.. i do intentionally create my image.. i dress, talk, behave, walk, eat and basically do everything in a certain way hoping to come across accroding to my desired image.. hopefully its a christ like image((:

Myrtle((: Jia You for your exams((: and your are one of my source of encouragement((: countinue to stand up for what is right((: oh... well doo your QT.. many times i fail in that area): hahaha.. but reminding your makes me "responsible" ((: i love myrtle((: that includes our overseas members((: Myrtle is global((: cool..

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Okay i am in the youth office now using the dell notebook... hahaha.. and ivan is sitting really quietly behind at p.henry's desk.. soooo.. quiet..

today was... filled with BORING lectures.. and ): dorothy has the gastric flu so that made it so much more less entertaining... i wanna hear more about the anime story((: 7 cute guys in the story ehhh((: hahaha.. well something interesting happen today.. i encounted a gentleman.. gentleman? yup gentleman.. the bus was nearing so i approach roughly to where the bus would have stopped and the gentleman was already there (in front of me..) so the bus stopped and the doors open.. okay this was super super unexpected.. he walk to one side and gestured me to go first((: yay.. guys aren't that bad((:

Saturday, April 26, 2008

argh.. why am i always pissing someone off... man i should just shut my mouth... i create horrible first impressions... miss stupidity here... sorry sorry... i'll definately try thinking before i open my mouth... miss careless here too... i really don't have bad intentions...): shall go hide in a corner... ha ha... time to fix things... obviously don't deserve friends...

AGM... No VOTING... SIAN DIAO..

Thursday, April 24, 2008

something interesting: i have to write about child prostitution...

i hate myself.. i am horrible.. i am the worse person ever.. i dun deserve love.. trust me i am not normal......

okay.. i talked to a stranger for the first time ever a day or 2 ago... weird huh... yeah... on msn... long story.. but my friend added a friend.. den my friend left the convo.. and there i was abandon with my friend's friend.. cool huh... it was.. SHOCKING.. hahahaha.. okay cool... but once is enough hahahhaa... weird feeling la.. hahahaha...

oh and i have a module on infants and toddlers.. wha.. they are so adoratble i want one also!!!! hahahaha.. so cute!!!! and intelligent and lovable.... hahahaha.. they turn into little monsters from 7-12 hahahaha... den they become cool teenagers 13 onwards den blah blah blah.. by den i'll be an old lady...

I have a disease..((: shopping.. ahhh i want 4 pairs of slippers...!!!!! one from esprit, one from i dunno what brand, one from ripples, one from havannas? hahahhaa.. yeah lor... i added up the total cost.. which should be like $100... hahaha.. oh and i want to taper? my jeans... where should i go to taper? hahahaha...

weird feelings in the air..

Sunday, April 20, 2008

I am horrible like a vegetable.. okay vege is good.. ((:

1. eh the more i think about myself the more i realise i am really ordinary and dumb..
i seriously do THE dumbest things.. i threw away my hair rubber band after untying my pony tail.. so dumb...

2. i say the worst advice.. ): seriously i am super super mean person la.. if you tell me someone made fun of you i'll tell you to prove him/she wrong and show him who's boss.. condemed cell leader..

3. my personal life is hanging on a thin thread.. my QT life is not mentionable.. my relationships are crumbling.. and i feel super lazy thus resulting in the lack of motivation to work my butt in school.. ):

Plus point: my friends are totally supportive((: hahahaha thanks to all((:

-END of random post-

Friday, April 18, 2008

Stranger definately.

i'm too young for all this nonsense.. i think bliss and perfect fairytale endings are what i signed up for.. occasional nonsense fine.. but with my uncertainty of everything man this is the last thing i need.. one day when i have a daughter i'll tell her my story.. my mother could never tell me why.. but now i have experience it for myself i can tell my daughter to listen.. never settle for less.. if you do heartache is on its way.. i just dunno what to do now? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so fustrated.. so down so so down.. maybe cause i didn't have enough sleep.. everything will be fine tomorrow..

you dunno me..

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

i dun feel so good... looking at food makes me... wanna vomit.. well certain food.. i like desserts.. i dunno why? but when it comes to normal food.. i really wanna puke.. at lunch today i couldn't stand the rice.. i feel bad for throwing away rice when we are having a rice shortage but really didn't feel well.. so i quickly got myself and ice cream(: felt better but whao.. while walking to the bus stop i didn't feel so good.. on the bus i felt like i was gonna faint.. the food in me was like gonna come out la.. felt like throwing up.. but had to hold it in? cause well public bus... felt really bad all the way home! den quickly lied down the moment i reached home.. well just had dinner.. eww... i dunno why but i couldn't touch the chicken it made me wanna puke.. guess what? i landed up eating fish and rice? only!!! i hate fish.. i couldn't even eat the mushroom that i love.. why cause ever time i ate one i felt like puking.. gross.. i hate eating.. i feel like running away from the table.. i hope i am not going mad? am i?? i dun think i am stress by my studies... i just started? well i did have a fever last night.. but stomach and fever? no link.. oh wells.. my body is acting really weird..

the nice girl that fell alseep(:

Monday, April 14, 2008

Nobody believes me when I tell them that you're out of your mind!
Nobody believes me when I tell them that there's so much you hide
You treat me like a queen when we go out,
wanna show everyone what our love's about
All wrapped up in me whenever there is a crowd
But when no ones around

Theres no kindness in your eyes
The way you look at me, it's just not right
I can tell whats going on this time
Theres a stranger in my life
You're not the person that I once knew
Are you scared to let them know it's you?
If they could only see you like I do
Then they would see a stranger too

Did I ever do anything that was this cruel to you?
Did I ever make you wonder who was standing in the room?
You made yourself look perfect in everyway
So when this goes down, I'm the one that will be blamed
Your plan is working so you can just walk away
Baby your secret's safe

Such a long way back, from this place we are at
When I think of all the time I've wasted, I could cry
Theres no kindness in your eyes
The way you look at me, it's just not right
I can tell whats going on this time

Theres no kindness in your eyes
The way you look at me, it's just not right
I can tell whats going on this time
Theres a stranger in my life
You're not the person that i once knew
Are you scared to let 'em know it's you?
If they could only see you like I do
Then they would see a stranger too

Sunday, April 13, 2008

one statement that really got me.. i don't love deeply.. i want to kinda disagree with that... as in i have love deeply once... and got so so hurt... den i guess i stopped? but i really want to be in love.. i guess i am just afraid...cause most of the time i build up this wall.. den yeah typical someone would ask me to let them in.. fine i do... and what? i get hurt... so i guess i stop loving deeply... i guess the only one i safely love is ...... ((: best friends are always the easiest to love(((:

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

grouchy princess coming through.. well i am relief teaching a K2 class.. so guess the horror when i found out when the other teacher is on MC tomorrow... yes tomorrow.. i really dunno what to do..)): but guess what... did my QT and God spoke..:"The Master can use what you have to offer,Though you may consider it small;His work here on earth is done through His children,So give Him your best, give your all. " and "Do what you can where you are with what you have." whao.. anyway.. i am still stress thinking about 27 kids to handle at one go... 2 scary kids to create havock.. looking forward to my day........... and horrible piano lesson.... sighs.....

anyway something funny.. today i was suppose to have a meeting at claud's house.. and guess what my daddy didn't allow.. but this is the funny part..
dad:"don't go la.. you don't have much time with me... i come home at 7pm and we eat good food..."
me: "daddy we spend 18 years together already...."
dad: "ehhhh... but you getting married soon................"
me: -_-"erm... erm... daddy 6 years time...."
dad:"not long girl..... very fast one..."
me: -_-....... fine eat with you.....
HAHAHAHA...