Wednesday, November 29, 2006

today bought lots of stuffed toys! watched movie.. so cool la.. anyway i feel so happy.. except for one thing.. but i won't let it get to me..haha.. its so so stupid! anyway.. lalala.. rare moment i am happy! jo's back! anyway.. lets see.. today's intentions were to go ice skating.. but man it was packed with pro skaters la! and it was 10.30 in the morning... we wanted to not skate with the crowd.. that's why we went early.. but man it was a huge disappointment! when i say its full of pro people i really meant full.. like in the whole ring there are like 7 non pro.. and the rest like 40 are pro or something!.. like scary.. so in the end no ice skating.. sigh! so disappointed! anyway.. did alot of snacking.. like every 20 mins we were eating! oh and i got my nails done again this time gold.. gold ain't my colour.. its looks so so disgusting.. but oh wells confidence is the key.. lalala.. next week i am off to japan.. so people dun miss me.. haha.. okay that's a dumb line.. anyway.. please anyone out there who is kind enough to accompany for youth camp please please call me!!! concert too!!! PLEASE!!! especially melissa png yu qing! u better call!!! this includes vanessa but i know its pointless cause u are already a christian.. but i need company!!! dun leave me alone! ok i am not actually alone cause like 150 are suppose to go.. so yeah!!! but please!!! so contact me k!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

well.. today i cooked hokkien mee and baked cookies.. hmmm.. watched some funny movie in the afternoon.. yeah.. still waiting to go ice skating.. tomorrow is leanne's birthday and party... i've yet to get her a gift.. haha.. i dun dare show up for the party.. i'll go if i have a gift... well.. free time is almost over.. time to get busy again... yay!!! i can't stand being free.. cause there is nothing to occupy me.. so i hate sitting around.. anyway.. i had hokkien mee for dinner.. hmmm.. so so lonely la.. very bored very very bored.. argh.. well.. that's all today...

life sucks even though its the holiday

Monday, November 27, 2006

You're the kind of friend who always bends when I'm broken
like remember when,
you took my heart and put it back together again

I've been wastin' time with who, this guybut now it's over....
Let me tell you why I'm through
I met someone new who's just like you

You're it, you're the ultimateits automatic
I'm sure of itno lie!
So don't even try to tell me that your not the guy!
cuz I've been waitin' all my life for someone just like you
but you're it, you're the ultimate you!

You're the kind of guy who's sending
mice and shivers, up and down my spine.
you took my heart and put it back together again...
you're the kind of guy that blows my mind
but now its my turn,you've been right in fron' of me
Everything i need, why didnt i see..???

You're it, you're the ultimate!
Its automatic, Im sure of it
No lie!
So dont even try, To tell me that you're not the guy

You're it, you're the ultimate!
Its automatic, Im sure of it!!
No lie! So dont even try,
To tell me that you're not the guy!
Cuz Ive been waitin' all my life,
For someone just like you!
But you're it!
You're the ultimate you!

Sunday, November 26, 2006

hmmm.. i had prom on friday..really fun.. hmmm.. i've been floating around.. not on clouds.. so weird.. well.. i'll put up the pictures tomorrow..

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

well i just cama back from jogging.. and some exercise thingy.. like cycling.. there were so many mosquitos.. i got a mosquito bite! so irritating! any how.. i feel brain dead.. or my brain is swollen.. hmmm..i dunno.. dizzy a little.. but i heard from legally blonde that exercise produces endorphins and endorphins make u happy.. well.. i am gonna try that out.. seriously have not been exercising in a long while.. so maybe that's why i am unhappy.. i hope this little experiment morks out.. cause yeah.. so weird.. but man i stink and i am sweaty! a big price for happiness.. humph.. oh wells.. if it works out den i'll do it.. hopefully i lose weight some where in between the exercise.. haha..

er.. today i mopped the floor.. haha.. and went to buy vcds to watch with my brother.. super lame la.. i watched date movie.. so lame la.. its dumb.. and super lame! yeah.. my life is usually boring.. nothing much to say.. about my life.. tomorrow i am gonna go to church and help out in the spk camp.. well.. stressed for prom.. its on friday! i hope i will be pretty.. i've gotta wake up at 6 am.. be in school by 8 am.. totally stressed.. i need to do make up.. do my hair for grad in the morning.. so stressed.. do u think i'll get picked for prom queen? nope i didn't but my friend did get nominated! haha.. i hope she wins.. actually my friend from another class also is nominated.. and oh wells.. its not just beauty.. but she needs talent! haha.. hmm.. i want to be prom queen! haha.. nah.. i want to.. i thought i knew what i wanted but now.. not so.. everything is so nuetral to me.. neither happy nor sad.. like void of emotion.. i feel so fake when i laugh.. i feel so wrong to be angry or upset.. oh wells.. i think my dress will be too over powering.. i think.. cause its purple! its so hard to match purple! this is my first prom.. i'll definately get pictures up okie! for everyone to see!!! i'll definately take a picture of the prom queen.. miss theresian.. haha.. well.. so much for nothing to say.. do u guys find this boring? just my rambling..

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

i think the beat for london bridge by fergie is cool for dancing. check it out alright. anyhow.. hmm.. i came across the words " i miss you" today.. hmm.. what does it mean? its just a stupid feeling? it just beats u up from within.. the feeling is sickening especially when its not a mutual feeling.. i hate that feeling.. it eats u up.. it hurts from within.. and there is no one to blame but yourself.i use to think its the other party's fault for not spending enough time and all.. but i guess one must stand back and look at the big picture.. everything is under your control.. you make your choices.. i guess i need to start learning to suppress that feeling.. but some how.. u always can't help it.. and when that someone you miss talks to you or even look your way.. you find security.. which is the sickening part! i want to be in control.. so what do i do? i fight back.. if that person gave me something.. i'll chuck it away and not look or think of it.. i will not be controlled by someone else.. let my feelings be controlled by someone else.. but i feel quite sad.. because i am becomig an unhappy person because of this plan.. my heart is becoming harden.. but i guess it beats getting hurt yeah? oh wells.. sorry for being mean to the people i'll miss that i am sure won't miss me back...so yeah.. haha.. sorry.. i think i am a crazy girl.. i wanna be an invinsible goddess...

Monday, November 20, 2006

cake a success.. yeah.. so watched movie yeah.. i feel so.. not happy.. weird.. really weird... i feel so weird.. it was happy when it was going on... but weird after the outing... so yeah...i feel everything was a lie.. just a lie.. nothing is real.. i've been wonderaing alot.. just thinking to myself.. i feel really aimless.. i do good stuff like cook and mop the floor and pack my room.. but it still feels empty.. i feel lonely sometimes.. how can a person like me ever be lonely huh? well i guess you can.. its been one guy after another.. one activity after another.. and well.. almost never been lonely cause i could always rely on studying.. so yeah.. i dun have studying anymore.. i dun have a full time guy and i am not allowed to go out as and when i want.. what i want most is God.. i feel he is missing and theres nothing in the world i wanna miss more than him.. and i do.. i know i miss other things.. but all of them won't matter once i get God back.. i want to want nothing more but him.. miserable.. without God.. let me tell ya its a really horrible feeling.. i need God so as to not want anything else.. i just one to be happy.. and joy comes only from one.. God.. i would like happiness else where but i give up... God shall be my pillar.. i guess i can only have God and no one else to lean on.. blah... the end..

hmmm... i'll fill your in on the secret stuff i've been doing and show your pictures of the surprise! haha.. oh wells.. anyone wanna go for musical come concert come church service? let me know yeah? pretty please... oh wells.. sob bye..

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

hmmm.. been doind lots and lots of house chores.. strange but i feel so good! so satisfying! packed up my whole room.. its pretty neat now... i would take some pictures.. but i don't know how to upload.. haha.. well.. hmmm.. i am having quite some fun doing stuff at home.. i can't wait for monday!!! going out.. doing real cool stuff from my perspective! haha.. well.. fill u in more tomorrow.. see ya

Thursday, November 16, 2006

man today rocks!!! i never felt so blank! ahhhh... it feels so good to be free.. i just came home! i went out straight after my paper.. walked about.. i wanna shop.. well.. didn't ate dinner and watched step up!!!! man does dancers can sizzle up the dance floor! i wanna dnace like that! haha.. well.. dancing was first class.. i am so impressed... just loved the dancing.. comtemp. mixed with jazz ballet and hip hop.. may that babe has talent.. and she even knows how to do ballroom cause she was the same actress in take the lead.. man she's beautiful and talented man! wha.. i wanna dance like her!!! haha.. to compliment her... haha sexy dance partner.. he is SOOOO HOT!!! my goodness!!!! super hot.. wah.. but hey i saw sparks fly when both of them were falling in love in the movies.. man i dun mind being an actress just to have a feel of that kinda romance.. its smoking hot! oh wells.. it only happens in the movies that's the great disappointment after watching.. it makes you so high.. but once u reach reality its like one hard crash! oh wells.. plenty of stuff to keep me on the high!!! like lots of stuff!!! i wanna watch material girls... chick flick.. hilary duff and sister!!! must watch.. i've caught all her and lindsay movies... i can't miss this movie!!!! hey anyone interested in chick flicks.. gimme a call yeah? i would love good company!!! soo.... tomorrow i am doing sensible things.. first on my list pack my room.. second.. work my body at the park downstairs.. gotta shape it up for prom.. Ooo lala... haha.. tell you more tomorrow... time to catch up with tv and i dunno bed and everything!!!! i miss all ya'll so much!!!! love ya!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I wear a disguise
I'm not just your average jane
The super doesn't stand for model
But that doesn't mean I'm plain
If all you see is how I look
You miss the superchick within
And I christen you titanic underestimate and swim
I've got the rifle gonna be myself

I'll be everything that I want to be
I am confidence in insecurity
I am a voice yet waiting to be heard
I'll shoot the shot bang that you hear round the world
I'm a one girl revolution

Some people see the revolution but most only see the girl
I can lose my hard earned freedom in my fear defines my world
I declare my independence from the critics and their stones
I can find my revolution I can learn to stand alone...

man i've been so down.. cause i got no one to depend on.. but baby when i hear this song.. it gives me the drive to be independent.. i just love the line "I am confidence in insecurity" i may be insecure.. but confidence is something that must shine through me.. i'll strive my hardest to be a confident girl.. confidence is the key to success.. other than drive of course.. nothing is gonna get me down no more.. i'll try my hardest! AJA AJA FIGHTING!!!

Friday, November 10, 2006

i think koreans believe that.. the person who brings you an umbrella on a rainy day cares/loves for you most..you'll have to call the person by the way.. u can be any where in singapore(to be decent) and you can call him/her up... if he brings you an umbrella he/she loves/cares for you... if he/she leaves you in the rain.. move on..

its sweet.. and i think its a great test.. since its the rainy period all the way till january next year..you have plenty opportunities to try it out...
so all you people out there looking for love.. try the umbrella test.. it may help you..


when i fall in love, it would be forever or i'll never fall in love...
when i fell in love, it is forever or i wouldn't have fell in love...
bring me an umbrella and shelter me from the rain,
keep me in warmth not cold.. sheild me from the pain..
On sunny days, i want to share my cookies with you,
on a bench in a park far away.
i don't need sweet nothings, or pleasantries but it doesn't mean i
don't appreciate them..
all i want is your presence, care and love.
In short, all i want is to be wanted and i want to want you in return.
And just fall in love with me abit more everyday..

Monday, November 06, 2006

3 questions...

1) how much is love worth? they say through the deepest ocean and up the highest mountain..
how come when a squabble come along break up is the first resort?

2) when do you know when you are doing right? right decisions? when do we know its right..
senerio a) if you dun go to church because you have exams is is wrong? does going to church when you have
make it right?

3) why are things the way they are? why are people mean sometimes without knowing we are? how can we
prevent being mean?

okay.. this is more then 3 questions but i've been wondering so so hard.. asking asking.. but no concrete answers.. please dun say faith? how can loving someone be a step of faith? and making a right decision a step of faith? it sounds as if " duh isn't faith the answer?" but i mean there must be more right?

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

what is love? i could sit here and type a bunch of stuff that i have read and that still it doesn't answer what love really is..

the words "i love you" are the most precious words to anyone in the world.. to receive those words you are lucky.. but to say those words.. is so different.. very different.. i've never said.. actually said i love you to anyone for as long as i can remember.. not to my parents not to anyone.. i feel so.. unworthy of those words.. its like, what's my love worth? would it make a difference to say i love you? as in i love you and not love ya or typing it out... to say these 3 words is the hardest in the world.. i marvel at how other people can say it.. these three words can never be faked.. to hear a confession of an undying love can't even compare to the words i love you..
how much is my love worth. pale in comparison to God's.. if only i could say those words.. i do want to say them.. i wanna tell everyone, shout it out loud.. that i love them all.. and i would give anything for them to know God's love.. when days are bad and when life just seem like its cursed.. fall back on God's love, no mere human love can be strong enough to support you through tough days, through days that you ask God why me, why death, why are the innocent suffering.. God's love is everlasting no matter how much you hurt him, he stands by you.. no matter how much hurt you feel within there is a a cure, its called God's love.. its just sitting right infront of us.. we just need to grab it.. its free.. he paid the highest cost.. his love is the ultimate. No guy or gal can ever measure up to his everlasting love.. till the end of the earth he'll still love me..

thus this explains the song.. when they sang it on sunday.. i was touched by it.. it meant something to me.. to be reminded of his love.. his ultimate sacrificial love for me.. pure and holy.. i'll be still waiting to say the words i love you.. i am sure God haas his purposes and i bet he wants to be first on my list and yours..