Wednesday, March 08, 2006
"If who I am is what i have and what I have is lost, then who am I?"
this is one of the most scary thought i 've ever had.. i have always based myslef on what i have not who i am to define myself.. like how i dress is who i am.. some days i dress guai den i become like guai especially in church.. as if it was all role play.. its so scary.. i mean around my friends i am like this different person.. it use to be worse last time but its better now.. but u see i have been like bitching about other people flaws without realising mine!all this time i have been telling myself..."babe u are doing great i mean u are improving but that bitch aint doing a thing" so i feel like above them sometimes.. its scary!!!!i actually dunno who i am... no wonder i dun have self acceptance.. all this time i thought self esteem was self acceptabce.. yup i am daily complimented which give me the self esteem... but i realise i do not have self acceptance..no wonder when i try change the people around me it fails...
When I was young and free and my
imaginations had no limits. I dreamed
of changing the world
As I grew older and wiser I realized
the world would not change
And i decided to shorten my sights
somewhat and change only my country
But it too seemed immovable
As I entered my twiligt years, in one
last desperate attempt, I sought to
change only my family, those closest to
me, but alas they would have none of
it.
And now here I lie on my death bad and
realise (perhaps for the first time) that if
i only changed myself first, then by
example I may have influenced my family
and with their encouragement and suport
I may have betered my country, and who
knows I may have changed the world.
