Sunday, February 19, 2006
how does one person make you fall in love with him everyday?? the sound of his voice brightens you up... his very presence brightens up the room.. he brings smiles to your face not just laughter.. he simply makes you warm all over.. he makes you self concious when he glances your way.. he is a gantlemen in everyway.. he loves God.. he is simple perfect.. he is frank.. he makes you feel like the luckiest girl in the whole wide world.. he simply makes you fall in love with him everyday in the most simple ways.. he melts your heart.. and i feel so vulnerable so hopelessly in love.. i feel far from perfection so far from ever being an equal.. i feel so dumb and inferior..compared to everyone i wonder always why he chose me? dumb ol' me.. i could never be a good as him or half as good as the girls around me.. if i were a boy i would chose my sister over me.. anytime.. i am not as intellect, or mature, wise, godly, sweet, demure, and a whole long list that could convince anyone that he wants to marry her..haha.. i am nothing compared to her.. or in fact all the girls around me..there are so many options around him why me? i am not the best yet he makes me feel the best.. he always tell me the sweetest things.. i cant even make him happy.. i cant say sweet stuff cause i arent smart.. i always lend up saying mean things... i return sweet words with mean ones instead.. how could i!!! ah.. i am dumb dumb.. so really dumb.. i dunno what to do.. i cant even do simple things.. ah.. i really feel dumb.. i know all the nice things he say is because well.. he creates this false imagination of me.. i aint that nice, smart , or clever in any way.. i have almost no good points.. i can imagine one day he realises this.. ahh.. i would have just wasted the nicest guy in the world time and effort.. i am seriously inferior.. i probably deserve a ah beng or something.. but a hopeless girl only can only wish for better but when it lends on your lap u realise you'll always be inferior.. and u know one day you'll be left behind.. this thoughts arent sweet anymore.. simply bull.. sigh.. i could never measure up..