Tuesday, February 28, 2006
even though my exams are like now.. when you're in love wha everything is perfect.. even the exmas.. but without sweetie help i probably would fail chem.. i'm confident i'll pass cause i have a great teacher.. i wanna hire him for like forever.. he is incredibly smart la.. wha i feel so stupid la.. sigh.. but that can't stop me from loving... pardon me from doubting but how does one know love is love? i wish there was like a specific definition of love... den i'll be assured that this is love and not some infactuation ... love love love... i really hope it is... test will be of time.. if in time to come we still love den true is our love nothing in the world could seperate us! yay... okay enough of lovey doevy stuff... love love love love love makes the world go round... next week all my exams will be over!!! haha... cant wait... no cca everyday can go out.. hee hee one day i can go out with my sweet heart to watch movie... i wont wash my hand after that day...haha.. then i think i am watching lots of other movies.. man gonna grom fat from all the popcorn... but its worth it.. i love sweet popcorn... ahh.. so so nice!!! haha... okay i love love everything=) sweet love...Saturday, February 25, 2006
When the rain is blowing in your faceThursday, February 23, 2006
too bad not as pretty as the flowers.. but oh wells.. haha it'll have to do..haha..
Mmm.. they smell great!!! you'll kill for these flowers right? too bad.. go find yourself a clever and charming and definately HOT valentine!!
my lovely flowers again!!! Ooo.. dun u just love them... i know u want it haha but u cant have it!
lalala.. my lovely flowers form my valentine!! ahhh... 
chio bu!!! haha.. my friends came to my house..=) 
second yu shen?? haha.. PS this is my first year eating that thingy! haha just the veg no raw fish!
group picture!!! hee hee.. it means time to leave!! yay!!!=)
bored outta my wits!!! watching some chinese thingy la.. i could understand a thing! what the!!
thai food!!! yum yum.. haha.. we had nothign better to do.. so we decided to grow fatter!
me and my sister.. ai mei sisters!(vain pot sisters).. haha
my first yu shen? haha.. pardon my chinese! 
haha my mummy's personal mission.. *winks*inside joke with my sweetie haha=)
bai nian? haha i dunno chinese.. but haha.. with my mummy and daddy!=) 
haha faking i work there.. haha.. dun i look like i belong there behind the desk? haha.. 
haha this was from the time mummy went to bejing or shanghai.. the VIP airport i think?Wednesday, February 22, 2006
okay this few days have been "great".. the day before yesterday i well went to school and read the bookie kaimin lent me.. so far the book really gave me a new perspective of things and where i stood, my role as a lady and loads more.. everyone should read it.. it really helps you think about your relationships.. okay so it came to this part about your past.. the more i read the worse i felt.. it well caused me to be depressed.. i shared with kaimin and well.. we decided to have confession time.. it was a real struggle for me.. the whole day i was debating with myself and my friends.. but as i read the book it well..it clearly told me to tell.. and man was i angry with myself and the book.. but kaimin told me the simething that really well.. comforted me alot.. and i mean alot.. i was really super stressed out and down.. i've forgotten how much God loves me and cares for me.. and he'll always love me no matter how great or small my sin was.. how many times i've broken his heart or ow many times i made him anry with my sin.. kaimin reminded me that if God could love and forgive.. so could he.. so yup.. that really gave me the courage to tell him.. i definately hid the book away in my bag afraid that if the more i read the more guilty i will become.. i went home dreading talking to kaimin.. i went online for a while saw him there.. i told him i was home and we had a small talk.. but i totally wanted to procrastinate our talk on the phone.. had no heart to tell him.. i left our conversation on msn with the excuse to go bathe.. which i took as long as possible.. i came out of the bathroom reluctantly but eventually.. i was waiting for him to call.. yes waiting!!! again... but that wait had its purpose the book was starring at me.. i got to my feet and took the book and started to read.. it totally torn down all my reservations.. it told me to put my complete trust in God and i should trust him in whatever outcome may come my way.. cuase he'll always love me.. even if the people around me stopped or couldnt accept me.. the second i finish reading the chapter.. he called.. freaky.. but well it didnt give me anytime to back out.. just the way God wanted it.. we had a painful talk.. both of us were hurt.. but in the end we had a great understanding.. and i cant help but be thankful for kaimin and also to God for placing him there at the right moment and i cant thank God enough for guiding me.. hey you! yes you! reading my blog.. i hope u learn to trust God in everything you do and always remember he'll love u forever even if u stop loving him.. he'll always be there to help u, love u, be there for u, just trust him..Sunday, February 19, 2006
how does one person make you fall in love with him everyday?? the sound of his voice brightens you up... his very presence brightens up the room.. he brings smiles to your face not just laughter.. he simply makes you warm all over.. he makes you self concious when he glances your way.. he is a gantlemen in everyway.. he loves God.. he is simple perfect.. he is frank.. he makes you feel like the luckiest girl in the whole wide world.. he simply makes you fall in love with him everyday in the most simple ways.. he melts your heart.. and i feel so vulnerable so hopelessly in love.. i feel far from perfection so far from ever being an equal.. i feel so dumb and inferior..compared to everyone i wonder always why he chose me? dumb ol' me.. i could never be a good as him or half as good as the girls around me.. if i were a boy i would chose my sister over me.. anytime.. i am not as intellect, or mature, wise, godly, sweet, demure, and a whole long list that could convince anyone that he wants to marry her..haha.. i am nothing compared to her.. or in fact all the girls around me..there are so many options around him why me? i am not the best yet he makes me feel the best.. he always tell me the sweetest things.. i cant even make him happy.. i cant say sweet stuff cause i arent smart.. i always lend up saying mean things... i return sweet words with mean ones instead.. how could i!!! ah.. i am dumb dumb.. so really dumb.. i dunno what to do.. i cant even do simple things.. ah.. i really feel dumb.. i know all the nice things he say is because well.. he creates this false imagination of me.. i aint that nice, smart , or clever in any way.. i have almost no good points.. i can imagine one day he realises this.. ahh.. i would have just wasted the nicest guy in the world time and effort.. i am seriously inferior.. i probably deserve a ah beng or something.. but a hopeless girl only can only wish for better but when it lends on your lap u realise you'll always be inferior.. and u know one day you'll be left behind.. this thoughts arent sweet anymore.. simply bull.. sigh.. i could never measure up..Thursday, February 16, 2006
i forgot to add i got punished on valenitne's day too.. i had to stand for 2 periods cause i refuse to go to the locker and get my book and do my class work..lim li kiang didnt allow me to share text book with my friends la.. super whatever.. went to detention because of her now she makes me stand.. whatever la.. choir mistress today really sucked la.. scolded me for no reason la.. what does other choir girls not paying up their 5 bucks gotta do with me? they dun wanna pay after i chase them up and down not my fault right? i wasted my time already on valentine's day still not happy.. ah.. she scolded me today for nothing!!! nothing.. i mean if u wanna PMS do it to people who deserve it.. seriously this time i didnt do a thing but try hand her the money.. she was like why so little people pay up.. den i was like i dunno? i asked them to pay already they dun wanna.. den she started saying i am not fierce enough.. i probably scared all the sec 1 girls away la.. i was like super bitchy to them la.. i rolled my eyes and all when they gave me stupid lame excuses..the freak some more was like super mean la.. made me late for stupid lim li kiang's got punished again.. this time outside class.. ah.. what the.. haha but at least i spent the time msging and copying my homework! haha.. but still crazy @$%!#.. ahh.. they rest of the day was kinda okay la... had a geog test but i am gonna fail.. found out the topics coming out for CA which is like in 2 weeks i think? haha.. the topics are like s**t la.. the topics that are super difficult.. and the pressure for doing well is like super big! if i dun do well.. my parents are gonna so blame the relationship la.. and they'll have a lousy impression.. especially of me they'll blame me more then him.. i am certainly gonna have a revision plan! haha.. i gotta get my act together!!! yup! more determined than ever.. i'll prove it to them! haha.. all the dumb teachers and my parents! haha..Tuesday, February 14, 2006
okay valentine's day started like on 13th jan for me cause of all the preparation.. i had to buy flowers at like dunno what time in the evening and my parents weren't too happy about it..so anyways i went home pretty late had a late dinner... a quick shower before i began work! haha.. me and my sister made loads of brownies and wrapped her fake home made cookies all night long.. my valentine had a lovely talk with people of high status whom our night out depended on them.. so yup... we didnt get to have dinner together.. its probably part of God's plan.. so i was kinda upset at first but i already had a gut feeling this year wasnt gonna be the year.. and as my mother said... how many years left do u have to spend with your family on valentine's day? it made me realise not many.. so i suppose its good that i stayed home.. and my valentine has even less years to spend it with his lovely mother so all the more he should! haha.. the night went on with all the baking.. as i came out with another plan.. i had to consider the last min arrangements that were made like i had choir yesterday till 5.30 so yup.. i was more than determined to pass those brownies and roses to my valentine.. we switched roles by the way .. i was the guy haha.. what a lousy guy i am.. haha i think i'll just stick to being a girl.. i didnt realise all the hard work u guys go through.. haha..oh and everything else went wrong.. but everything goes right when your sweet heart valentine walks up to you and pass you flowers but even that cant tear your eyes away from your sweet heart.. Ooo... my valentine's day turned up all so well.. and u wanna know why? cause i placed my trust in God.. i told God at last after going through all human effort to meet my darling and failing terribly.. that i will trust everything to him.. even if i dun get to meet my sweet heart i'll still be thankful and love him no matter what cause if its in his will for a meeting between me and my sweet heart den it'll be done against all odds.. haha.. i also told God i am thankful for having a sweet heart and i shouldnt well ask for too much.. hee hee.. but i told him i would love to meet my sweet heart.. den i got a message from my sweet herat that he'll come and meet me and my mum allowed! haha.. so simply put your trust in him!!! haha.. oh hee hee God a little longer would have been nicer.. haha.. but hey thank you.. haha.. oh and my sweet heart gave me the most lovely flowers in the world.. haha.. *muacks* you rock dearie.. haha.. i cant wait to spend some time with you.. so i do win the loveliest valentine's and valentine right.. haha!!! =) well hope you people enjoyed as much as i did..Friday, February 10, 2006
haha today was totally sweet.. haha the sweetest ever.. haha.. we went out today.. someone was late.. strangely i didnt mind.. haha.. i used to go crazy waiting.. haha..i wonder why its different this time around.. haha.. i caught casanova haha.. he is super charming.. reminds me of hitch but in the like dunno which century..so yup.. haha.. super charming..ahh.. but someone more charming and sweet la.. haha.. the girl in casanova is super.. well.. strong.. a lovely lady indeed.. haha.. the fat guy was like super funny!!! super cute la.. haha.. super funny show.. u should watch it.. haha.. hmm.. today i ate like a nectarine and one slice of orange..haha and i had oreo cheese cake from secret recipe.. the gay server yup server was pretty nice.. he addressed me as a lady.. haha.. and the lady would be having oreo cheese cake.. haha.. so well polite... haha.. when we were about to leave.. this like other guy that brought back the change from the bill.. yup the bill.. he like thought my friend was like secondary school kid la.. haha.. secondary!!! haha... and thought i was J1 haha.. super funny.. haha.. we walked about for like a while la i think?then home i went!! haha.. its fun to have good campany when you're on your way home.. it really well.. adds the finishing touches to the perfect day.. oh well.. i started reading this book someone told me to read.. haha.. for you sake dearie i'll read it.. haha.. its kinda nice so far.. haha.. i think?.. this is one day i dun think i'll forget so soon.. haha okay that's mean.. haha.. i really cant help it.. =) i take joy in torturing.. haha=)Thursday, February 09, 2006
haha... i went for detention today!!! so cool.. haha.. my first time ever.. haha.. i actually did my work at last during DC.. haha.. super fun.. we were playing la.. haha.. fooling around.. stuffing down stationary in my uniform.. haha.. stupid friends.. haha.. i hope i get to go out on Valentines.. for once.. yup.. for once.. i've never gone out on Valentine's cause crazy stuff always pop up.. and i have to always cancel out last minute.. so yup.. i think i will get my hopes up this year... cause its special.. but everything is going all wrong.. no flowers for friends.. i gotta find an alternative.. haha.. do offer some suggestions.. haha.. i'm gonna be needing it... haha.. i watched pride and prejudice.. and the perfect man.. was feeling down.. haha.. insecurity.. but hey.. mind over matter.. that's the solution to every problem.. cause u decide whether u'll let the problem affect ya.. haha back to the to lovely shows.. i feel so so like happy and all lovey.. haha..the 2 shows really rock la.. haha especially the pride and prejudice.. haha..i shall be petty.. haha wink* cause someone was petty too.. i wanted to watch it like last year with my special friend.. haha.. but i didnt get the chance to.. and i bet the person knew i wanted to watch it but someone went to watch first with someone else la.. oh wells... nothing beats watching alone.. haha.. what is done is done.. haha.. petty moment over! haha.. the perfect man was super nice.. i think i'll take note of it.. haha.. it gives hope to the hopeless.. haha..i am suppose to be happy.. why arent i ? i know the reason.. is there a solution? i feel so well.. restricted and trap.. unable to speak my mind.. which hee hee. is very important to me.. haha.. they say things can never go back to normal once change comes along.. but i want normal back.. haha.. but everything has its reasons.. oh well.. a happy momment turned out sour.. haha..and why.. cause i let it.. see.. mind is over the matter.. i'm a classic example of a weak mind.. haha.. oh wells =) smile.. even if its fake.. haha..Wednesday, February 08, 2006
social sterotype..
conclusion: gender is determine by society and the people around us.. is this fair to those who go against it and are ostracized because of differences?[take note.. sex is biological]
something interesting..
my conclusion..
Sunday, February 05, 2006
okie so if u read my blog's last entry u would realise my life kinda suck a little.. so yup.. so today late for DG as usual..rushed my way down.. haha.. woke up late as usual.. slept like alot.. 9 hours... haha.. that's not the point.. so during dg aunty chiew hun was like talking to us about trials.. and she used the example when like a couple go through like trials and stuff to test your like love and stuff.. you would realise after coming out of these trials and yet still loving each other would have made you appreciate each other more.. and i was like starring at her when she said that.. jokingly she realise i was starring and said " does that apply to you" i was like thinking "oh my gosh!" haha.. seriously.. haha..we also talked about knowing who the one is and all.. haha.. me and adeline was like if God puts us through trials den how are we to know when he is using the people around as to talk to us.. cause the example was that parents objected.. and the couple became stronger and my parents were the example.. but what if the parents of the couple were carrying a message from God? or was that a trial? how to tell the difference?? haha.. all of us agreed we want God to strike us on the head when we meet the right guy.. haha... we were also wondering how to find the right guy when every like boyfriend seems to the right one? how do you know who the right one is? haha... den I realise I would be having many boyfriends before the right one so wont that like be a little well.. bad?why cant we all just have one.. then what about people like my parents who only had one relationship before marriage.. and the only relationship they ever had was with themselves.. so how did they know that they were right for each other? ahh.. all this love talk makes me sick.. haha... sleepy and dreamy.. dreamy for a lovey dream.. haha.. so goodnight people.. call me crazy... i wont disagree.. haha...must be the valentines day bug... haha...=)okie so if u read my blog's last entry u would realise my life kinda suck a little.. so yup.. so today late for DG as usual..rushed my way down.. haha.. woke up late as usual.. slept like alot.. 9 hours... haha.. that's not the point.. so during dg aunty chiew hun was like talking to us about trials.. and she used the example when like a couple go through like trials and stuff to test your like love and stuff.. you would realise after coming out of these trials and yet still loving each other would have made you appreciate each other more.. and i was like starring at her when she said that.. jokingly she realise i was starring and said " does that apply to you" i was like thinking "oh my gosh!" haha.. seriously.. haha..we also talked about knowing who the one is and all.. haha.. me and adeline was like if God puts us through trials den how are we to know when he is using the people around as to talk to us.. cause the example was that parents objected.. and the couple became stronger and my parents were the example.. but what if the parents of the couple were carrying a message from God? or was that a trial? how to tell the difference?? haha.. all of us agreed we want God to strike us on the head when we meet the right guy.. haha... we were also wondering how to find the right guy when every like boyfriend seems to the right one? how do you know who the right one is? haha... den I realise I would be having many boyfriends before the right one so wont that like be a little well.. bad?why cant we all just have one.. then what about people like my parents who only had one relationship before marriage.. and the only relationship they ever had was with themselves.. so how did they know that they were right for each other? ahh.. all this love talk makes me sick.. haha... sleepy and dreamy.. dreamy for a lovey dream.. haha.. so goodnight people.. call me crazy... i wont disagree.. haha...must be the valentines day bug... haha...=)
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
"This is from me," the Savior said,